The Brutal Truth About Relapse (And How to Stop Lying to Yourself)

Relapse doesn’t just happen. It’s not some random accident. It starts way before the first drink—before the first excuse, before you even realize you’re slipping. And if you don’t wake up to the warning signs, you’ll find yourself right back where you swore you’d never be.

The Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves Before a Relapse

Relapse isn’t a sudden moment of weakness. It’s a slow build-up of excuses, denial, and self-sabotage. Here are some of the most dangerous lies we tell ourselves before we pick up again:

🚩 "I’ve been doing so well, one drink won’t hurt."
This is the classic trap. You start feeling confident, and suddenly, your brain twists that confidence into permission. Just one. But for us, one is never just one. It’s the first step down a road we know too well.

🚩 "I deserve a break."
Maybe you’re stressed. Maybe life has been kicking you around. And that little voice whispers, “You’ve earned a reward.” But let’s be real—when has alcohol ever been a reward? Has it ever truly made life better?

🚩 "No one will know."
This one is pure self-betrayal. The moment you start negotiating in secret, you’ve already lost. It’s not about whether others know—it’s about the fact that you will. And you’ll have to live with that.

🚩 "I can control it this time."
You’ve tried. We all have. And we all know how that story ends. Moderation is a myth for people who’ve crossed the line into addiction. Thinking you’ll be the exception is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves.

How to Spot the Warning Signs Before It’s Too Late

Relapse doesn’t start with drinking—it starts with a shift in mindset. The moment you notice these signs, it’s time to act:

⚠️ You start romanticizing drinking. Thinking about “just the good times” and ignoring the destruction it caused.

⚠️ You pull away from support. Skipping meetings, ignoring texts, avoiding accountability.

⚠️ You stop doing what was working. The routines, the habits, the strategies that kept you sober suddenly don’t seem important anymore.

⚠️ You start making excuses. “I’m too busy.” “I’m too stressed.” “I’m fine now.”

How to Stop a Relapse Before It Starts

✅ Call yourself out. The moment you notice the excuses creeping in, say it out loud: “I’m setting myself up for a relapse.” Own it before it owns you.

✅ Reach out to someone. Text, call, show up at a meeting—whatever it takes. Isolation is where relapse thrives.

✅ Change your scenery. Get out of your head. Go for a walk. Hit the gym. Do something that shifts your mindset fast.

✅ Remind yourself what’s at stake. Write down all the reasons you quit. The pain, the regret, the people who count on you. Read it when you feel yourself slipping.

✅ Make a commitment—right now. Not for tomorrow. Not for next week. Just for today. Tell yourself, “I will not drink today.” And then do whatever it takes to make that true.

Final Thought: Relapse Isn’t Inevitable—But Lying to Yourself Is Dangerous

You don’t have to relapse. You don’t have to start over. You don’t have to let the excuses win. The moment you catch yourself justifying, rationalizing, or bargaining, shut it down. You are stronger than your cravings. You are stronger than your excuses. Choose to stay sober today.