How to Handle Friends Who Don't Get Your Sobriety (Or Try to Sabotage It)

Not everyone is going to cheer you on when you quit drinking. Some people won’t understand it. Some will straight-up try to pull you back in. And if you’re not prepared for it, these so-called friends can be one of the biggest threats to your recovery.

Here’s how to handle it.

1. Spot the Red Flags Early

Not everyone in your circle is going to respect your decision. Some will test you, intentionally or not. Here are the people to watch out for:

🚨 The Peer Pressure Pro – “Come on, just one drink. You used to be fun!”
🚨 The Guilt Tripper – “So now you’re too good for us?”
🚨 The Denier – “You never really had a problem.”
🚨 The Enabler – “I’ll buy your drinks, just have a good time!”

2. Set Your Boundaries (And Stick to Them)

Boundaries aren’t just about what you won’t do—they’re about what you will allow in your life. If someone keeps pushing alcohol on you, you need to make it clear where you stand.

🔥 How to respond:

“I don’t drink anymore. Please respect that.”

“If you keep pressuring me, I’ll have to leave.”

“I’m serious about this, and I need you to be, too.”

If they don’t listen, that tells you everything you need to know about the friendship.

3. Have an Exit Strategy

Some situations aren’t worth the fight. If you find yourself around people who are trying to break down your resolve, get out.

🚪 Easy ways to leave:

Drive yourself so you don’t rely on anyone else.

Have a code word with a sober friend who can call you with an “emergency.”

Always have a backup plan so you’re never stuck.

4. Find Out Who Your Real Friends Are

A real friend wants to see you win. They respect your choices, even if they don’t fully understand them. If someone makes you feel bad for getting sober, they were never truly in your corner to begin with.

✔ Real friends: Support your decision, check in on you, and find ways to hang out that don’t involve drinking.
❌ Fake friends: Mock your sobriety, pressure you, and disappear when you stop drinking.

5. Build a New Social Circle (If You Have To)

If drinking was the foundation of your friendships, it might be time to find new people. That doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone off, but it does mean surrounding yourself with people who want the best for you.

👥 Where to find supportive people:

Recovery meetings (AA, SMART Recovery, online sober groups)

Fitness communities (gyms, running clubs, yoga)

Creative hobbies (art classes, writing groups, music events)

Final Thought: Protect Your Sobriety Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does)

You are not obligated to keep people in your life just because you have history. If someone is making it harder for you to stay sober, they are not your friend.

Your recovery is yours to protect. The people who truly care about you will support it. The rest? Let them go.