Dan's story
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Dan's story...Hi, my name is Dan, I'm a 42 year old alcoholic 17 years into my recovery. I am, and always have been a very private person.
I think this was a contributing factor in "suffering in silence" and not letting anyone into my life, and the truth to what was really happening to me.
I can now see as an adult, and father myself, the lengths they went to, to provide for me, and my 2 older siblings.
I studied hard at school, and had good grades, and got myself an apprenticeship. But as I left school, the urge to drink, and to have a drink was always there. In all honesty , by the age of 17, the " choice " to have a social drink had left me - I was an alcoholic, and dependant on drink.
I would drink at every opportunity, it didnt matter what it was, or where I was, when I started, I couldnt stop ~ the seal was broken, and I would drink to oblivion !
The years that followed only got worse, I lied to those close to me, demolished relationships and found myself on my own most of the time, as the small circle of friends I had, slowly drifted away, as I was an embarrasment to myself and those around me.
My body was taking a lot of punishment, and I came to face the reality - this was my life now. I self harmed on several occasions, something I struggled to come to terms with for a very long time after I entered recovery, this is not something I would have contemplated had I had a clear mind I'm sure.
This devastated my family, blaming themselves for something completely out of their control. Early to mid 20s this continued into, slowly killing myself with the daily battering and punishment my body was taking, and even coughed up blood on many an occasion.
I would drink rather than eat or have electricity and heating, or new clothes on my back. I destroyed my relationship with my parents, that was my all time low, when they had to walk away, as they could no longer watch me kill myself.
I have never blamed them for this devastating decision they had to make.
But a couple of people refused to give up on me, and under my protest, they poured my poison down my sink, and marched me to get help - and on the 17th November 2007 ~ my last drink was consumed - at the age of 25 - near enough 10 years of hard drinking had taken its toll , and my body needed recovery.
Something " clicked " that day, and I made a promise to myself, and my child , who had turned 1 in the June that year - another drink will never pass my lips.
And 17 years on, and at 42 years of age, that remains true to this day. I am only too aware of " complacency " and the temptations out there - but with support, and a close circle of friends and family, anything is possible.
If I hadn't stopped that day, I 100% know, I wouldn't be here writing this now.
My relationship with my parents is now fantastic, I love them more than anything on this earth, along with my wife and Children, and I'm grateful every day I wake up.
Never give up, never stop believing, look back, but don't stand and stare ....... be proud, not ashamed, of who you are today, and we have to stop apologising for our illness ~ we were sick, and we are all recovering together.
Wow what an incredible journey, thank you for sharing Dan! Let's show Dan some love folks!
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